I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize