I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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