I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
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The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
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He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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