But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
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What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
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Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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