Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We talked him into tasing himself.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
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