I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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