Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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