no, he came in my armpit
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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