dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize