I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
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You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
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Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize