Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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