And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
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Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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