you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize