u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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