okay pat passed out under dana's car
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize