I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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