I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize