She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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