I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize