I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
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I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
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Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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