well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize