i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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