we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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