He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize