the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize