Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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