If that was your dad, he is hot
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize