If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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