And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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