we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just had sex bonerless
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
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her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
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I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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