I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
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I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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