a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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