I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize