i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize