You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize