I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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