I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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