ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize