I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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