next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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