PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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