Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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