Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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