So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize