I wish I could teleport
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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