Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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