Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize