Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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