I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize