So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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